Ponder the Canvas
If my life was a canvas it either feels like I try to fill it up way too fast or on the other extreme it can feel like I leave it really empty and bare. Not sure about you, but I think there’s several different kinds of “ideal” canvas’. Which can lead us to have this picture of what we think we want our canvas of life to look like. We work hard to control outcomes trying to fit as much as we can on or maybe as little as we can. Often when we are trying to curate/make this picture on the canvas we get so fixated on needing to add this or needing to take it away that. (whatever it might be; maybe work, marriage, relationships, the messy of ourselves, the messy of others, our independence, etc.) we lose the very things that could be meant to hold our picture together. The things that make it most beautiful and most worthwhile.
"In the canvas of life, a flat landscape would be pretty boring. It is the valley's and the mountains that help us to appreciate the flatlands. It is the dark that makes us appreciate the light, and the cold that makes us appreciate the warm." -Anne Copeland
I’ve often been in a place where I try to “concoct” or create a picture that isn’t supposed to be on my canvas at all. Trying to place a something or a someone in my canvas collection of pictures that just quite simply isn’t supposed to be there. Like trying to fit a square in a heart shaped hole. It doesn’t stinkin work! (and we often know this far sooner than we think.) Yet still we continually try to push the square in, hence causing some battered and bruised places in our hearts and life.
Sometimes those are needed lessons and heck I definitely don’t blame us for trying. We all want a beautiful canvas of life in our own ways. The more I’ve accumulated these stories where I do this though… the louder the still small voice of redirection becomes. “hey kims maybe this isn’t quite the right direction or kims I think you’ve seen this play out before.” It's time to listen!
Maybe you can see some patterns in your life, that aren’t the best for you. Maybe you quickly try to add relationships to your life that typically lead to the same outcome that doesn’t work. Maybe you scramble for your independence pushing away the people placed around you to love. Trying to quickly take out the mess of yourself or the mess of others.
The challenge presented to myself and now to you is to open up opportunity to the Ultimate Canvas Maker. Reflect on the things you’ve sought in the past and the ones that you’re still seeking. Ponder what God may be gently redirecting you towards or away from. We won’t always get it right – we’ll make silly decisions – that bring mess, sin, and heartache into our lives. But that doesn’t have to be the end. There’s always a chance for redirection. I urge you to reflect and dream about life.
What has worked?
What hasn’t?
What has brought lasting joy?
What has brought temporary happiness that led to heartache?
What are the things that actually make your heart skip a beat – not for a moment but a deeper one – a desire, a dream so clearly implanted?
What is your actual vision for your life?
What is God’s vision for your life?
Are the pictures you are trying to place getting you closer to this?
Is there room for gentle and tender redirection in your life – are you open to it?
When I’ve let go of pictures that weren’t fitting in my life – I found so much more freedom. Not to mention doors to much grander adventures than I intended. Letting go can give us more opportunity to fit the things that actually align with the vision, dreams, and desires God has placed in us.
My hope is that there is a piece of this that you can carry with you on your journey to ponder with.
much love,
kims
